Problems

How does one remain friends with someone that broke up with them, or vise versa. Its extremely hard and to be honest i guess at first it is quite problematic because there may or may not be residual feelings for the other party, but I would have to say that to get over things quickly would be to immerse yourself in something, for instance me in a book on mathematics and statistics for scientists and a book on quantum physics for scientists and technicians..

To be honest I haven't really learnt a lot, at the moment, but that might be down to the fact that maths was not really a strong point of mine, even though I have a foundation degree in chemical sciences. I have never been good at maths, but one can master something like maths if one just keeps on plugging away at it, and practices pretty much every day.

That is what will be my resolution for the new year to master my maths skills, I ended up with a D in maths at GCSE level, it may have been down to the fact that I didn't listen or I wasn't taught very well, the excuses are endless. I will do well at maths and be a better scientist as a result.

That is all for this post, so to reiterate.. Immerse yourself in something after a breakup, I'm bad at maths but I want to get better..

Rule #32 - Enjoy the little things

When I feel down and whatnot, I think of zombieland. The films main protagonist goes by a set of rules to survive the zombie apocalypse. Many of these rules can be put into practise in the real world, like #32, enjoy the little things.

For those of you who know me, so I assume none of you, I am short sighted. That means that I can't see things that are far away from me, it's just a blur. Its from my mothers side of the family, which means that I have to wear glasses. At some point in my life I want to have laser eye surgery. I wear contact lenses too and today I had them in and I looked up at the sky whilst it was dark and the stars were visible to the naked eye, and what I saw amazed me because usually I can see blurry stars. But today I saw them in clear vision and it impresses me its that kind of thing that makes me enjoy being alive and whatnot.

The stars are an amazing entity, as is space.. seeing pictures taken by the hubble space telescope and whatnot makes you appreciate it all especially when the pictures are taken in infra red to get something other than complete darkness.

I believe that every one should enjoy the stars because that is one of their purposes, I like to go to a quiet place and just look at the stars and occasionally think about things, but that might be for another post.

what would you do?

Life, and its infinate mysteries.. Scientists and spiratulists alike trying to figure a specific meaning to lifes mysteries.. I was thinking today in all of my infinate wisodom or rather finite wisdom, that there can't be one reason to life there has to be more than one reason.. But I am no where near qualified to answer those types of questions.

So instead I ask a different question, a rather nerdy one at that. Hypothetically, and I mean hypothetically because there is no proof that it could ever happen, if there was a Zombie apocolypse what would your contingency plan be?

I know someone who would just hide and if discovered wouldn't put up a fight, and I know others that have lots of things planned out. Now as a geek or nerd or whatever you want to call me, I do spend quite a bit of my day thinking about said apocolypse and to be honest I can't really come up with a whole deal because the area where I live is country side, and that may not be so bad in respects of finding secluded places to hide but it does give rise to a whole different set of problems.

For instance, if I was to stay in the country side I would have to stock up lots on food and petrol/diesel and possibly water. And then if I ran out it would take a while to get to the nearest place that had a supply of those things. Now my country side isn't as bad as that I live in a small town quite far from a big town.. so I have supplies here for the time being.. But there are places that are rather remotely desolate.

And then you come to weapons, now I could use a gun against a zombie because lets face it a zombie is just a shadow of the former person it was, but I would only use a gun as a last resort because they do attract alot of attention i.e the loud bang. And I would carry around a knife of some sort because one could always use a knife..

I am not sure what else to consider appart from lodgings, but lets face it everyone has different ideas of where to stay out a zombie apocolypse, some would constantly travel, others would rather stay in a pub. I think I am a fan of finding a place near to a supply area but not too near.. and most definatly not somewhere that is in the middle of nowhere..

Fixed

I thought that my laptop was broken, I was told that my heatsink had melted through my motherboard. This I found was wrong, all I needed was a new stick of RAM (random access memory) to make it work again, so I find myself with a laptop now.. :) This makes me well happy, because I don't have to use the desktop anymore!

There was a constant competition to try and get the desktop always, because everyone on in the family wanted to get on at the same time. But not anymore I have my laptop back now. Also today is the international friendly between Sweden and England. Last week England beat the top team in the world, the european and world champions, Spain. I wonder what the score will be tonight. England haven't beaten Sweden since 1968, during which 12 games have been played. I half hope that England win, but I also half hope that Sweden win too.

Anyway to the match.. later people :P

Musings

So, Life thats always a tricky one because there is so much to it and it can be so hard and everything like that.
In my last post I wasn't feeling that great I was quite upset, but its amazing when I think about it how sorry I am for writing that post. What has been written can't be taken back.

So this thing life, this incredibly hard thing. No one tells you when you are litte that there will be lots of hard choices and moments where you feel like you just want to do something really stupid like take your own life. But ones determination is based on the capacity to take these problems in ones stride.

I remember when I was little I used to go to the scouts field and play games using my imagination and a stick, I would imagine that I was on alien planets or in the jungle trying to survive and not be captured by the enemy, or hell one time I imagined that the world was taken over by zombies and I had to survive for what in my mind was months or even years when in reality it was only a few hours.

These are the days that you should think back to when everything goes wrongly, or at least I do. The days where big life choices where nowhere to be seen and love was a figment of my imagination brought about by an infatuation. I think that last part might still be the way I see love.

Today I got a letter from my university about my graduation, and I have been thinking whether or not I should attend it, but all I can think about is my past, and how sometimes I long for the days where the only real choice I had to make was whether or not I would be surviving zombies or aliens.

Life is this big thing that exists sometimes just to see how we can cope, and I admit that sometimes I don't really do that well not compared to a long time ago when I could stay in a field for hours on end shooting imaginary targets with a stick that my imagination had turned into an awesome gun.

How well do you cope at life and what do you think about when everything goes tits up?

Today is the day I DIED!

Today is the day I died, and you did it. You the person that I love, the person I trusted the most, the person that I thought was one of my best friends; hell lets face it my girlfriend.

You broke up with me today because you don't feel the same way about me and I felt like you had stabbed a knife throught my chest straint into the muscle that is supposed to be the strongest in the body. You killed me today, and thats that. I think I should probably move on but I doubt that will happen, because I love you. I still do, I will for a long time I think. And it hurts like hell because you want to remain my friend, you want to still go to the Blink 182 concert that I bought tickets for.

Appart from that I was turned down for yet another job because I can't do maths. what am idiot I am

I hope you are happy with your choice, even thought I am hopeful for the future.

Things are trickier than I thought

Things are trickier than I previously thought. I mean that I thought that once I finished university I would sail into a job, regardless because thats what happened to me at 16 I finished school, went to college and was given a job a few weeks after I finished school. But now I realise that it is much harder because it is half 3 in the morning (2:30) and I am blogging about sitting on my backside being on the dole. It is a horrible feeling, not to be doing something with your life, I feel as if I were wasting away not having a job, having way too much time on my hands.

For the life of me I wish I had a job, I wish that I hadn't quit my previous job. I found out when I quit that there was a branch in Hull. At the moment I feel my life is full of doubts and what ifs. I regret none of the decisions that I made, not even quitting becuase if I was working then maybe I wouldn't have had met a very special person.

I know I need to do something with my life, and I apply for jobs but it seems that no one wants me, I think I may have some unemployable quality to my character but alas I am not sure. I guess that at the moment all I can do is just keep applying for jobs, because I hope that in the long run it is worth it.

I think that I should head off to bed now, because I have a hard day ahead of me, possibly sittin on my backside or applying for jobs that I probably won't hear back from.