Over the last while I have been shocked and appalled at America, this isn't America bashing either. I find it shocking and appalling that America is the only place that you hear of "mass shootings". It is shocking that a person with a firearm is allowed to just walk into a cinema and shoot people, to walk into a primary school and kill 20 children that haven't even lived a life yet! It is appalling that these things happen, I'm not saying the UK is a perfect place, to be quite frank nowhere is, but for a guy to walk into a primary school, or a cinema, or other schools, workplaces, corporate buildings, government buildings whatever and then just shoot people.
Yeah I understand that kids get bullied (a reason for several school shootings) and people are depressed, but does that really give the right to kill? Gandhi once said "an eye for an eye, would make the whole world blind" And it seems to be going that way!
The reason for this post is the recent killing of 27 people in a primary school in America. I'm not one to usually comment on things really but this just boils my wick, it gets on my nerves.. Its great that America has certain rights that its constitution gives each citizen, but the one where it enables practically everyone to have guns (I say practically because I do not exactly know the specifics of that constitutional right, it is my understanding of it, feel free to correct it) to defend their homes or land or whatever, yeah that's great and all, but according to UNODC figures, the US has a firearm homicide rate of 2.97 per 100,000 people, something needs to be changed. I understand that other countries have a higher firearm homicide rate and those countries need to improve their firearms regulations, but the US has had its schools shot up for too long now, it certainly has a colourful history of pupils in schools being killed.
The first recorded shooting was in the 1700's and every century since then, there has been quite a few. During the last 20 years collectively there has been nearly 400 deaths from shootings in schools, hell in 1998-1999 nearly 4,000 American students, that were children for the most part, were expelled from their respective schools for bring a firearm to school. If that doesn't scream for the crackdown of firearm control then I don't know what does!
To be honest I want this to be the last one, the recent killing of primary school children should be the last, mankind will always find ways to kill each other, but when that involves a 20 year old, going into a primary school with a firearm then killing 20 innocent 6 and 7 year old's along with 6 teachers, then there's something wrong with the constitution that allows that. Because that's what allowing the public to have firearms does, it gives them the thought that when someone has wronged them in some way, they can go and kill some people!
It makes you wonder what kind of world and society we live in, one that allows that to happen. It certainly doesn't do much for the god-fearing people, because honestly what kind of god would allow that? I mean if god was willing but not able then that would not make your god omnipotent, but if he was able but not willing then your god is malevolent, and if finally your god is not willing nor able then why call him god?
Its a terrible shame when children are killed, a terrible shame when one person decides that 20, 6 and 7 year old's have lived as much of a life as they are allowed before cutting it short, who knows there could have been one or many that could solve that many problems of human kind, or discover intelligent life in the universe (because we are still a very very violent race, so we are not really that intelligent are we?) or a cure for cancer, or the next great composition anything could have come from those children, is the point.
So my condolences go out to the parents who never get to hug their child again, to the families that will never celebrate another birthday for that child, for the loss of life to mankind.
Monday 17 December 2012
Tuesday 18 September 2012
To be.. or not to be..
I have recently watched Hamlet done by the Royal Shakespeare Company for the BBC, the David Tennant and Patrick Stewart one, directed by Gregory Doran. I found Tennant's Hamlet to be quite the take on the character. He was portrayed as even more of an emotional wreck that he seems. There is one scene with hamlet that everyone knows, yet no-one really knows. It is the famous soliloquy from act 3 scene 1, or the "nunnery scene", here is the video:
Hamlet believes himself alone in the throne room, but Polonius and Claudius are watching because they believe him mad from neglected love between himself and Ophelia. Ophelia comes in at the end of the speech, which is where the name "the nunnery scene" stems from. This rendition of that soliloquy seems to cut right through you, because he is looking into the camera, and it is like peering into an incredibly private moment of dark thought. I particularly like it because there is much emotion thrown into it, its like every word crackles with emotion!
For those who do not know the soliloquy, here it is:
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocksThat Flesh is heir to?
'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished.
To die to sleep,To sleep, perchance to Dream; Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time,
The Oppressor's wrong, the proud man's Contumely,
The pangs of despised Love, the Law’s delay,
The insolence of Office, and the Spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Quietus make
With a bare Bodkin? Who would Fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.
Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,
And thus the Native hue of Resolution
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale cast of Thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their Currents turn awry,
And lose the name of Action. Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons
Be all my sins remembered.
Hamlet believes himself alone in the throne room, but Polonius and Claudius are watching because they believe him mad from neglected love between himself and Ophelia. Ophelia comes in at the end of the speech, which is where the name "the nunnery scene" stems from. This rendition of that soliloquy seems to cut right through you, because he is looking into the camera, and it is like peering into an incredibly private moment of dark thought. I particularly like it because there is much emotion thrown into it, its like every word crackles with emotion!
For those who do not know the soliloquy, here it is:
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocksThat Flesh is heir to?
'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished.
To die to sleep,To sleep, perchance to Dream; Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time,
The Oppressor's wrong, the proud man's Contumely,
The pangs of despised Love, the Law’s delay,
The insolence of Office, and the Spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Quietus make
With a bare Bodkin? Who would Fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.
Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,
And thus the Native hue of Resolution
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale cast of Thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their Currents turn awry,
And lose the name of Action. Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons
Be all my sins remembered.
Sunday 16 September 2012
I'm back at uni...
Earlier this year I decided I would go back to university, probably the best thing I have ever done. However at this current moment in time I am exactly where I was 4 years ago, in a strange place knowing no-one. I can tell you that it sucks to be in that position especially when two years ago I was surrounded by people I knew here, was doing quite a bit. yet now all I do is sit in my room watching stupid things because I have no where to go or anyone to hang out with. Freshers week hasn't even started yet, and I still have a week to go before it has!
I have had a lot of time this past year to reflect on what kind of a person I am, and as I see it at the moment I am not a very good one. I am, putting it politely, a nuisance. I just bother people! I have had so many problems this past year, I have been quite depressed about not having a job or being at uni, I am still depressed about being broken up with; but as I see it, it was definitely the best choice for her because I am a mess!
If I had of gone back last year then, I'd definitely be in a better place in terms of where I am in my life. My goal is to start studying in Sweden next year, but the way I am going at the moment that's no going to happen. The thought that it won't happen scares the crap out of me, because if I fail that then what else do I have to do. Nothing! I have to get there for my own sake! I need it, I want it so bad!
The first step is getting a job, because in Sweden it is expensive to live there and just everything is ridiculously priced in my opinion, but that's just probably because I am from a relatively cheaper country. More importantly once I have gotten a job, the next step is to improve my Swedish, which at the moment is really rather limited. Once my Swedish is a lot better and once I have recomposed myself then I can get onto the next step which is to win that girl back! Then after that the obvious stuff is next, find a place to live in Sweden, as well as a job; because lets face it I'm going to need one over there!
Other goals that I have got going on this year, that is no where as important as getting a job, is to loose weight I have a goal to get to by Christmas and it'll work, because this academic year I am really focused I want everything that I have set my sights on! I will get everything I have set my sights on!
Sunday 2 September 2012
Points of View!
To start off with, I will define Point of view!
point of view. Dictionary.com. Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition. HarperCollins Publishers. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/point of view (accessed: September 01, 2012).
As stated above by the Collins English Dictionary a point of view is something that someone thinks about someone/thing, emphasis on the thinks.
As one who has previously consumed alcohol, the way I feel about it now is very confusing and weird for me. From going from enjoying a night out to absolutely despising the yeasty abomination that is alcohol! I know how the feelings came about, they came about because I was with someone whom themselves hated alcohol, and the way I felt every time I went out and she wasn't going anywhere not due to her being under age but due to a hatred that festered from some unknown place.
And now the tables are turned, I didn't think I was at a stage where I would really despise anyone whom I knew and drunk alcohol for no other reasons than to just get drunk. She is now going out and socialising with people in environments where she, herself consumes alcohol. For some unknown reason that leaves me feeling nothingness I hate it but I have gotten to a point where I, myself feel that I can do nothing or feel nothing just to try and separate myself from this huge engulfing sadness that ensues at the thought of her or anyone I know for that matter, drinking alcohol.
Why can I not go back to the way I was, not necessarily consuming mass amounts of alcohol, or really any alcohol for that matter. I would enjoy going back to a time where I didn't feel sad at the thought of someone I hold dear to myself drinking. I have been told not to view her as drinking to get drunk as if she dislikes a drink she'd be happy drinking a non-alcohol variant. But as one with an extreme point of view on alcohol, it is rather hard to do this.
What has made me inherit this extreme point of view? What is it I can do to rid myself of this extreme point of view?
| point of view | |
| — n , pl points of view | |
| 1. | a position from which someone or something is observed |
| 2. | a mental viewpoint or attitude |
| 3. | the mental position from which a story is observed or narrated:the omniscient point of view |
As stated above by the Collins English Dictionary a point of view is something that someone thinks about someone/thing, emphasis on the thinks.
As one who has previously consumed alcohol, the way I feel about it now is very confusing and weird for me. From going from enjoying a night out to absolutely despising the yeasty abomination that is alcohol! I know how the feelings came about, they came about because I was with someone whom themselves hated alcohol, and the way I felt every time I went out and she wasn't going anywhere not due to her being under age but due to a hatred that festered from some unknown place.
And now the tables are turned, I didn't think I was at a stage where I would really despise anyone whom I knew and drunk alcohol for no other reasons than to just get drunk. She is now going out and socialising with people in environments where she, herself consumes alcohol. For some unknown reason that leaves me feeling nothingness I hate it but I have gotten to a point where I, myself feel that I can do nothing or feel nothing just to try and separate myself from this huge engulfing sadness that ensues at the thought of her or anyone I know for that matter, drinking alcohol.
Why can I not go back to the way I was, not necessarily consuming mass amounts of alcohol, or really any alcohol for that matter. I would enjoy going back to a time where I didn't feel sad at the thought of someone I hold dear to myself drinking. I have been told not to view her as drinking to get drunk as if she dislikes a drink she'd be happy drinking a non-alcohol variant. But as one with an extreme point of view on alcohol, it is rather hard to do this.
What has made me inherit this extreme point of view? What is it I can do to rid myself of this extreme point of view?
Tuesday 1 May 2012
Fanta
Earlier today I tried some new fanta, for those who may not know fanta is a fruit drink but a fizzy drink. There are lots of flavours out there but the one I tried seems to be new, at least to my country. The flavour was Mango and Passion fruit, the combination seems rather weird but it actually tastes niiiiiiice.
Apart from the new fanta life has been pretty much the same as it usually is, boring.. living in the countryside does that to a person ha-ha. Its all fun and games really.. I think that's enough for this post, I'll probably be posting again sometimes soon. Something with a bit more substance.
Apart from the new fanta life has been pretty much the same as it usually is, boring.. living in the countryside does that to a person ha-ha. Its all fun and games really.. I think that's enough for this post, I'll probably be posting again sometimes soon. Something with a bit more substance.
Tuesday 14 February 2012
Valentines day..
Today is valentines day, a day that is devoted to couples having a night out because it is a "special" day. A day that has been thought up by corporations to get more money from people so they can increase their profits. Yet for the single person or the recently made single it is a painful memory of the fact they have no special person in their lives..
In that sense a song comes to mind, 'the forgotten one' by Times of Grace, I am drawn to the chorus of that particular song; It goes something like this:
'Lost in a sea of sadness,
Blind in this place of darkness,
If I fall would you be there to raise me up,
Or will I become the forgotten one?'
That songs chorus has been plaguing me for quite some time because of recent events. So as a result I have been rather depressed. I guess the previous posts about it mean everyone knows. haha..
But instead of this post being about a melancholic world, and me having a melancholic life and all that jazz. I would like to quote a playwright and an actor.. Shakespeare and Patrick Stewart..
'My love is a fever, longing still for that which no longer nurseth the disease.
In faith I do not love thee with mine eyes for they in thee see a thousand errors see, but tis mine heart that loves what they despise, who in spite of view are pleased to dote - shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely, and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.'
In that sense a song comes to mind, 'the forgotten one' by Times of Grace, I am drawn to the chorus of that particular song; It goes something like this:
'Lost in a sea of sadness,
Blind in this place of darkness,
If I fall would you be there to raise me up,
Or will I become the forgotten one?'
That songs chorus has been plaguing me for quite some time because of recent events. So as a result I have been rather depressed. I guess the previous posts about it mean everyone knows. haha..
But instead of this post being about a melancholic world, and me having a melancholic life and all that jazz. I would like to quote a playwright and an actor.. Shakespeare and Patrick Stewart..
'My love is a fever, longing still for that which no longer nurseth the disease.
In faith I do not love thee with mine eyes for they in thee see a thousand errors see, but tis mine heart that loves what they despise, who in spite of view are pleased to dote - shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely, and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.'
Thursday 9 February 2012
Cheestrings
I am eating a cheestring right now.. the name of course is trademark of Kerry foods and copyright protected.. now that the legal bit is over I think I can state that this has nothing to do with cheestrings.. I was stuck for a title name.
It is two months into 2012 and already it sucks, now being an atheist I can't really blame God or Allah or any religious deity, monotheistic or not.. So I shall do what I think every atheist does and blame the Universe. As it goes I am still jobless so the possibility of University comes back into play, but it is a lot to pay £9000 for a year. We'll see how that one works out.
At the moment I am feeling rather melancholy and that about sums things up. I believe that I would be a psychologists wet dream, but then again I would reason that anyone in maybe a similar would probably think that, or maybe its because I am arrogant.. its probably the latter. Later today hopefully I am going to give blood, I would reason that I am doing that now because its the only way I can hurt myself legitimately and then help someone too. And now I am wishing that my bone marrow is a match to someone so that doctors can stick a giant needle into my hip, and because I am the way I am, I would say no to anaesthetic.
I'll tell you what blog, I have no idea what to do with my life any more. I had it all sorted out, I was going to go to university and get a degree, I only came out with a foundation degree, and then I was going to get a job in the chemistry sector, because I love working in the lab. I had even hoped that I could eventually have kids. Its all good and well to plan your life like this, but in reality none of it goes the way you want it too, at university I fell in love, with a girl that is the most amazing girl in the entire world, and that was good for like 2 and a half years, I honestly have no idea how the hell she put up with me. And people may say that she was my first love bla bla bla you'll feel strongly when you break up bla bla bla.. Now that's all fan-tabby-dosey but the way I feel is that honestly she was teh one, you know the one you hear about in films and shit, and she slipped through my fingers, and I let it happen, I let the relationship decline to such a point where we were constantly arguing and she didn't feel the same about me any more. As far as cliché goes it could be said that if she was the one then she will come back round or some such thing.
It stands to reason that in physics things happen in pairs, there is no singularity even at a quantum level.. or something like that.. remember I am only a chemist.. but if I go by that then logically there is someone else whom I can feel strongly about.. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a Hydrogen molecule, yes I am making a chemistry analogy so don't leave yet, think about it a Hydrogen molecule can only make a bond with one other molecule so in that way it is monogamous. Now I am not endorsing polygamy or anything in that sense because this strictly refers to non-married couples and everyone else. So if a Hydrogen molecule bonds with something else it gives its only electron to do so thus creating a bond now say if a carbon molecule came alone, it can bond with 4 hydrogen molecules often creating double and triple bonds now obviously these are stronger than single bonds but if a hydrogen molecule is in a double bond with oxygen or carbon then how does the hydrogen molecule get over the fact that it was gotten rid of in a reaction.. and that's relatively how I feel so I wish that I was something along the lines of carbon or oxygen.. but I'm not.. I guess I have to get over her the best that I can.
In all honesty that chemistry analogy seems rather shoddy now that I have read through it.. I think that she was the one.. the one that I could have spent the rest of my life with, but I guess she didn't feel the same way. I guess only time will tell, and only time can heal these massive gouges I have in my heart, obviously the one that feels so the metaphorical not literal.
And as an end to this post.. I leave with this.. Cheestrings are nice.. and its weird how no-one really uses a diary any more, people have gotten braver with their feelings and shizz..
It is two months into 2012 and already it sucks, now being an atheist I can't really blame God or Allah or any religious deity, monotheistic or not.. So I shall do what I think every atheist does and blame the Universe. As it goes I am still jobless so the possibility of University comes back into play, but it is a lot to pay £9000 for a year. We'll see how that one works out.
At the moment I am feeling rather melancholy and that about sums things up. I believe that I would be a psychologists wet dream, but then again I would reason that anyone in maybe a similar would probably think that, or maybe its because I am arrogant.. its probably the latter. Later today hopefully I am going to give blood, I would reason that I am doing that now because its the only way I can hurt myself legitimately and then help someone too. And now I am wishing that my bone marrow is a match to someone so that doctors can stick a giant needle into my hip, and because I am the way I am, I would say no to anaesthetic.
I'll tell you what blog, I have no idea what to do with my life any more. I had it all sorted out, I was going to go to university and get a degree, I only came out with a foundation degree, and then I was going to get a job in the chemistry sector, because I love working in the lab. I had even hoped that I could eventually have kids. Its all good and well to plan your life like this, but in reality none of it goes the way you want it too, at university I fell in love, with a girl that is the most amazing girl in the entire world, and that was good for like 2 and a half years, I honestly have no idea how the hell she put up with me. And people may say that she was my first love bla bla bla you'll feel strongly when you break up bla bla bla.. Now that's all fan-tabby-dosey but the way I feel is that honestly she was teh one, you know the one you hear about in films and shit, and she slipped through my fingers, and I let it happen, I let the relationship decline to such a point where we were constantly arguing and she didn't feel the same about me any more. As far as cliché goes it could be said that if she was the one then she will come back round or some such thing.
It stands to reason that in physics things happen in pairs, there is no singularity even at a quantum level.. or something like that.. remember I am only a chemist.. but if I go by that then logically there is someone else whom I can feel strongly about.. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a Hydrogen molecule, yes I am making a chemistry analogy so don't leave yet, think about it a Hydrogen molecule can only make a bond with one other molecule so in that way it is monogamous. Now I am not endorsing polygamy or anything in that sense because this strictly refers to non-married couples and everyone else. So if a Hydrogen molecule bonds with something else it gives its only electron to do so thus creating a bond now say if a carbon molecule came alone, it can bond with 4 hydrogen molecules often creating double and triple bonds now obviously these are stronger than single bonds but if a hydrogen molecule is in a double bond with oxygen or carbon then how does the hydrogen molecule get over the fact that it was gotten rid of in a reaction.. and that's relatively how I feel so I wish that I was something along the lines of carbon or oxygen.. but I'm not.. I guess I have to get over her the best that I can.
In all honesty that chemistry analogy seems rather shoddy now that I have read through it.. I think that she was the one.. the one that I could have spent the rest of my life with, but I guess she didn't feel the same way. I guess only time will tell, and only time can heal these massive gouges I have in my heart, obviously the one that feels so the metaphorical not literal.
And as an end to this post.. I leave with this.. Cheestrings are nice.. and its weird how no-one really uses a diary any more, people have gotten braver with their feelings and shizz..
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