Problems

How does one remain friends with someone that broke up with them, or vise versa. Its extremely hard and to be honest i guess at first it is quite problematic because there may or may not be residual feelings for the other party, but I would have to say that to get over things quickly would be to immerse yourself in something, for instance me in a book on mathematics and statistics for scientists and a book on quantum physics for scientists and technicians..

To be honest I haven't really learnt a lot, at the moment, but that might be down to the fact that maths was not really a strong point of mine, even though I have a foundation degree in chemical sciences. I have never been good at maths, but one can master something like maths if one just keeps on plugging away at it, and practices pretty much every day.

That is what will be my resolution for the new year to master my maths skills, I ended up with a D in maths at GCSE level, it may have been down to the fact that I didn't listen or I wasn't taught very well, the excuses are endless. I will do well at maths and be a better scientist as a result.

That is all for this post, so to reiterate.. Immerse yourself in something after a breakup, I'm bad at maths but I want to get better..

Rule #32 - Enjoy the little things

When I feel down and whatnot, I think of zombieland. The films main protagonist goes by a set of rules to survive the zombie apocalypse. Many of these rules can be put into practise in the real world, like #32, enjoy the little things.

For those of you who know me, so I assume none of you, I am short sighted. That means that I can't see things that are far away from me, it's just a blur. Its from my mothers side of the family, which means that I have to wear glasses. At some point in my life I want to have laser eye surgery. I wear contact lenses too and today I had them in and I looked up at the sky whilst it was dark and the stars were visible to the naked eye, and what I saw amazed me because usually I can see blurry stars. But today I saw them in clear vision and it impresses me its that kind of thing that makes me enjoy being alive and whatnot.

The stars are an amazing entity, as is space.. seeing pictures taken by the hubble space telescope and whatnot makes you appreciate it all especially when the pictures are taken in infra red to get something other than complete darkness.

I believe that every one should enjoy the stars because that is one of their purposes, I like to go to a quiet place and just look at the stars and occasionally think about things, but that might be for another post.

what would you do?

Life, and its infinate mysteries.. Scientists and spiratulists alike trying to figure a specific meaning to lifes mysteries.. I was thinking today in all of my infinate wisodom or rather finite wisdom, that there can't be one reason to life there has to be more than one reason.. But I am no where near qualified to answer those types of questions.

So instead I ask a different question, a rather nerdy one at that. Hypothetically, and I mean hypothetically because there is no proof that it could ever happen, if there was a Zombie apocolypse what would your contingency plan be?

I know someone who would just hide and if discovered wouldn't put up a fight, and I know others that have lots of things planned out. Now as a geek or nerd or whatever you want to call me, I do spend quite a bit of my day thinking about said apocolypse and to be honest I can't really come up with a whole deal because the area where I live is country side, and that may not be so bad in respects of finding secluded places to hide but it does give rise to a whole different set of problems.

For instance, if I was to stay in the country side I would have to stock up lots on food and petrol/diesel and possibly water. And then if I ran out it would take a while to get to the nearest place that had a supply of those things. Now my country side isn't as bad as that I live in a small town quite far from a big town.. so I have supplies here for the time being.. But there are places that are rather remotely desolate.

And then you come to weapons, now I could use a gun against a zombie because lets face it a zombie is just a shadow of the former person it was, but I would only use a gun as a last resort because they do attract alot of attention i.e the loud bang. And I would carry around a knife of some sort because one could always use a knife..

I am not sure what else to consider appart from lodgings, but lets face it everyone has different ideas of where to stay out a zombie apocolypse, some would constantly travel, others would rather stay in a pub. I think I am a fan of finding a place near to a supply area but not too near.. and most definatly not somewhere that is in the middle of nowhere..

Fixed

I thought that my laptop was broken, I was told that my heatsink had melted through my motherboard. This I found was wrong, all I needed was a new stick of RAM (random access memory) to make it work again, so I find myself with a laptop now.. :) This makes me well happy, because I don't have to use the desktop anymore!

There was a constant competition to try and get the desktop always, because everyone on in the family wanted to get on at the same time. But not anymore I have my laptop back now. Also today is the international friendly between Sweden and England. Last week England beat the top team in the world, the european and world champions, Spain. I wonder what the score will be tonight. England haven't beaten Sweden since 1968, during which 12 games have been played. I half hope that England win, but I also half hope that Sweden win too.

Anyway to the match.. later people :P

Musings

So, Life thats always a tricky one because there is so much to it and it can be so hard and everything like that.
In my last post I wasn't feeling that great I was quite upset, but its amazing when I think about it how sorry I am for writing that post. What has been written can't be taken back.

So this thing life, this incredibly hard thing. No one tells you when you are litte that there will be lots of hard choices and moments where you feel like you just want to do something really stupid like take your own life. But ones determination is based on the capacity to take these problems in ones stride.

I remember when I was little I used to go to the scouts field and play games using my imagination and a stick, I would imagine that I was on alien planets or in the jungle trying to survive and not be captured by the enemy, or hell one time I imagined that the world was taken over by zombies and I had to survive for what in my mind was months or even years when in reality it was only a few hours.

These are the days that you should think back to when everything goes wrongly, or at least I do. The days where big life choices where nowhere to be seen and love was a figment of my imagination brought about by an infatuation. I think that last part might still be the way I see love.

Today I got a letter from my university about my graduation, and I have been thinking whether or not I should attend it, but all I can think about is my past, and how sometimes I long for the days where the only real choice I had to make was whether or not I would be surviving zombies or aliens.

Life is this big thing that exists sometimes just to see how we can cope, and I admit that sometimes I don't really do that well not compared to a long time ago when I could stay in a field for hours on end shooting imaginary targets with a stick that my imagination had turned into an awesome gun.

How well do you cope at life and what do you think about when everything goes tits up?

Today is the day I DIED!

Today is the day I died, and you did it. You the person that I love, the person I trusted the most, the person that I thought was one of my best friends; hell lets face it my girlfriend.

You broke up with me today because you don't feel the same way about me and I felt like you had stabbed a knife throught my chest straint into the muscle that is supposed to be the strongest in the body. You killed me today, and thats that. I think I should probably move on but I doubt that will happen, because I love you. I still do, I will for a long time I think. And it hurts like hell because you want to remain my friend, you want to still go to the Blink 182 concert that I bought tickets for.

Appart from that I was turned down for yet another job because I can't do maths. what am idiot I am

I hope you are happy with your choice, even thought I am hopeful for the future.

Things are trickier than I thought

Things are trickier than I previously thought. I mean that I thought that once I finished university I would sail into a job, regardless because thats what happened to me at 16 I finished school, went to college and was given a job a few weeks after I finished school. But now I realise that it is much harder because it is half 3 in the morning (2:30) and I am blogging about sitting on my backside being on the dole. It is a horrible feeling, not to be doing something with your life, I feel as if I were wasting away not having a job, having way too much time on my hands.

For the life of me I wish I had a job, I wish that I hadn't quit my previous job. I found out when I quit that there was a branch in Hull. At the moment I feel my life is full of doubts and what ifs. I regret none of the decisions that I made, not even quitting becuase if I was working then maybe I wouldn't have had met a very special person.

I know I need to do something with my life, and I apply for jobs but it seems that no one wants me, I think I may have some unemployable quality to my character but alas I am not sure. I guess that at the moment all I can do is just keep applying for jobs, because I hope that in the long run it is worth it.

I think that I should head off to bed now, because I have a hard day ahead of me, possibly sittin on my backside or applying for jobs that I probably won't hear back from.

Baking!

Today my mother showed me how to make my own pastry, sweet pastry at that. I baked some jam tarts and an apple and pear pie, I will be making custard later to go with the pie. I must admit that it seems a bit pointless in me baking these things if I am not going to eat them. But in any case here are pictures and I hope that the rest of my family enjoys the baked goods.

both jam tarts and apple and pear pie/tart are something I can't eat because of my diet.

On the dinner front thought I am cooking a chicken kebab type thing with some potato bake for everyone else and for me, with a salad. I hope that the chicken kebab turns out right. Here is the recipe if anyone wants it.

I hope that this diet goes well for me, at the moment I am trying it for a month and then upon seeing the results I feel I will decide whether or not to continue.

Peace out for now peoples..

Meatzza!!

I realise that it has been quite a while since my last post, months if I remember correctly. I have been preoccupied and not really interested in the blogosphere. But alas I'm back with news of upcoming things.

I plan to post a lot more because it could be helpful with this new diet I am trying, and I know the small conglomerate of people that read this must be thinking "you're a guy, guys don't do diets" well as much as guys don't do diets, I am and I am combining that with daily exercise because I want to lose weight. I don't want to be a huge fatman all of my life and I think that losing weight is good to do.

My meatzza with proscuttio crudo, frankfurters onion and garlic.

I am doing a diet that is huge in Sweden, its the LCHF diet, that means low carbohydrates and high fat. Effectively that means that I cut things like bread and pasta and rice and sugary things and in return I am able to eat thing that are high in fat; for instance today I am having a Meatzza which is a pizza but with a mince meat base rather than the bread base that is usually used.

That diet combined with working out and motivation should help me loose weight.

Now for other news, I have decided not to go back to university for a while I feel that I am loosing taste for it and that's not a good thing if I want to eventually get a PhD. So in the meantime I am looking for a job both here in England and in Sweden. Hopefully Sweden gets back to me on the job front I'd rather be there than in England, my reasons for that are my own.

To consolidate the job in Sweden, I have been learning Swedish, and I hope that it is going great, the reason I hope is that I am really biased against myself, I feel that I am not good at it. I have been told that I have progressed a lot in a year (that's how long I have been learning Swedish).

Anyway wish me luck with the diet, job-seeking and Swedish. I'm going to go now before my meatzza gets cold. oh and the recipe for it can be found here:


http://www.lchfrecept.com/ShowRecepy.aspx?ID=952

It is in Swedish, but it's pretty simple to follow regardless of language barriers.

Goodbyes

Earlier this week I caught the last episode of season 10 of Friends, now everyone knows about friends.. it has been around for that long, and for the most part it seems like one of those cheesy late 90's early 00's TV sitcoms... And mostly that's what it is, but its a great one, because some of the episodes you just don't forget.

So I was watching E4, it's a channel in England where friends is pretty much played non-stop or it seems that way. And I turned the TV on and it was already on E4... And that particular episode makes me cry a little, but also think.

I think about when she leaves, and hopefully she'll be like "I have to get off this plane, right now!" just to see me again, then show up at my door like a pleasant surprise. Or I think about chasing her in the airport, just so I can let her know how I feel about her.

It's TV shows that show things like that, that make me want to do that and succeed that make me feel like one day I want to be that romantic, and spontaneous. I guess that ultimately it's that spontaneity that makes the idea of chasing someone through an airport to tell them how I feel, or getting of an aeroplane when it's going to leave that makes it a romantic notion.

If you guys have any thoughts on it, feel free to tell me to shut up or something..

Karate

I feel knackered, I can barely muster enough energy to write at the moment, and by write I mean type. Today I have a long ass karate session, because I do that now. Today was long because it was grading today, that meant that the sensei's decide whether or not I am good enough for the next belt, and I know that going from white to red isn't that great a feat, but for the fact that I hardly knew it, I did well. I can't say that I did it all by myself, I was aided with great tutelage from sensei Neil. A fantastic bloke. He helped me get through today successfully, as did everyone else in the club. I went from 9th kyu to 8th kyu, its a good feeling to have hard work pay off..

catch you on the flip side

Extension

Have you ever been granted an extension on a piece of work. I was today, and for some reason it feels great :D it has a weird but awesome feeling to it.. I feel great knowing that i don't have to worry about it for a while.. :D

But still for some other reason I feel bleh, maybe I am not very well, we'll see what happens!

Now I have been watching Death Note for a bit and its quite good, its about "gods of death" and they have a notebook, and that notebook is able to have a human owner and that person can kill anyone they like. I know that I have not really explained it well but check it out, it's a good anime.

That's all I can think about writing now.. So I might post later.

Peace out..

Just a random question..

Is it just me or, has anyone else noticed this but on Dragon Ball Z when they all power up and whatnot, they sound like they are trying to go for a number two.. :S

A voice is only a noise, without someone to hear!

As I sit here, getting on with my literature report, I find myself missing you like crazy. It's been a while since I posted anything here, and for that I am sorry. I have been drowned by work, to quote a friend of mine "its like we are being raped with work". I finish university for another year in roughly six weeks, and three weeks of that is a holiday. lucky me right?

My cousin has had loads of time off, since the end of March to the beginning of May, lucky git. I shouldn't complain about time off, haha. I will have loads soon enough. So there is one thing I am looking forward to, and that is July, not only is it the month of my birthday, I am going to see Blink 182

I am going to see them at the O2 Arena, on the 19th, and I can't wait. and for those of you wondering, no I am not going by myself. Its going to be fun. And I am taking someone out for dinner the next night.. Does anyone know any good restaurants in London?

This post I think is over, I aim to post more, when I can, unfortunately I have been quite bust and I will be for a little while longer, so bear with me please.

Anyway, catch you on the flip side! (old 90's catch phrases for the win haha.)

A little late

So, this is the first post of the new year. It's been a good start thus far but knowing my luck things will start to go downhill just as they always do. Even though I am pretty sure that no one reads my blog; hence why I don't post so often, I by no means wanted this to turn into an emo's blog; like it seems to have done. I guess my problem is a somewhat lack of self confidence, trying to blame myself for everyone's problems. This will probably never change, however there is a bit of a different problem now; I feel like no one listens to me, which in all honesty isn't that comon; why should anyone listen to me, i don't usually have anything remotly decent to say.

It'll probably dissapate soon enough, oh well. In better news I am going to see Blink 182 in July, just a few days before my 21st birthday, we'll see if the person that I am going with still wants to go with me! So now to await the begining of the new semester, I am doing work already; which seems rather pointless but to come out with a good degree I have to work hard. 

We'll see what the rest of this year brings me, maybe I should hope for the best, maybe I shouldn't.. I don't know anymore. But if anyone does read this, then on the bright side I doubt I will post anymore emo shit..